There's a very nice
woman in my apartment building who looks very exotic, has an accent to
match, works a Kim Kardashian body, and usually wears very fancy, sexy,
expensive-looking clothes. I don't know her name, but I call her Italy,
and she's fabulous. My jobs mean that on many occasions I am either
leaving the building at 5am or coming home at midnight or later. There
obviously aren't a lot of people from the building that I usually
encounter at these times, but Italy is one of them. When I leave early
in the morning, I sometimes pass her as she's coming home, all dressed
up, and when I come home late at night, she's sometimes just on her way
out. I don't know what she does for a living, and I'm certainly not
judging, but, well... I've wondered. The other day, Italy and I both
arrived home at the same time. The lobby was inundated with the fumes
of someone's way-too-strong perfume that they had clearly bathed in, and
as soon as Italy and I were safely on the elevator away from the toxic
fumes and the offending wearer, the following (one-sided) exchange
occurred:
Italy: Woo! It smells like a whorehouse in there!
Me: [silently smiling back and nodding]
Italy: I mean not that I know what a whorehouse smells like.......
(3rd floor) ....I'm not saying this from first-hand experience or anything....
(4th floor) .... It's not like I've ever been in a whorehouse....
(5th floor) ....I'm just saying it's what I imagine a whorehouse would smell like.
(6th floor) ..... If I'd been in one.
(7th floor) ..... Which I haven't. Been -- in a whorehouse.
..... Okay, have a nice day. Bye.
..... Okay, have a nice day. Bye.
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