Some openers you just can't recover from. Until a neurotic New Yorker comes along.

Starting conversations with strangers is hard.  I very deeply and completely understand that.  Nevertheless, there are times when someone's opener is just so bad (or I perceive it as bad and am so put off by it) that my wall automatically goes up, and even if I start laughing on the inside at it or feel bad for their feeling awkward, I just can't bring myself to let down that wall and engage with them... at least not until someone comes along who helps me understand what they were actually trying to say all along....

On set, working as extras, waiting for direction from the ADs and PAs:

Me: [tap dancing in place... because I was bored and that's what I tend to do when I'm bored]

Guy: Are you from New York?
Me [stopping tapping]: No, why?
Guy: A lot of people from New York are neurotic.
Me: .... Are you saying I look like I'm neurotic?
Guy: No!.......... I mean, people who are from New York tend to be neurotic.  Not you.....  I meant [looking nervous and letting out a big sigh, clearly thinking hard] I don't think you're neurotic.... Sheesh, I can't believe this wasn't clear.... I meant that a lot of New Yorkers are neurotic, and I was assuming you weren't from New York.  Or neurotic.  Because you don't look neurotic.... I meant that I was assuming you were normal, but if you'd said you were from New York, I'd have walked away.  Because you'd probably be neurotic.  But I don't think you are.  I was assuming you aren't.  That's why I said that.  I was assuming you're normal.

Me: Oh.  Okay.

Guy: New Yorkers tend to be neurotic.

Me: Yeah, got that part.

Guy: I mean.... they need to talk about everything.  They need to constantly fill the silence.  They think everything about them is fascinating and everyone else around them needs to hear every thought that comes through their head and they have to show off to everyone around them and speak really loudly while saying completely inane things.

Me: OH! Yes.......

        .......Are you from New York?

Guy: What?  Oh.  No.  But, yeah, and you don't seem like that.

Girl with really thick New York accent, walking up to us at that exact moment: OMG I just had to get coffee.  I really needed coffee.  This is vanilla flavored.  It's about 3/4 caffeinated, and 1/4 decaf, which is enough to wake me up but keeps me from getting all jittery, ya know?  I always have to have my coffee in the morning.  My mom's like that too, ya know?  She just has to have her coffee in the morning.  Like if she doesn't, she's just all "ohmygawd I can't concentrate and I can't start my day; where's my coffee?!" ya know?  ...... You two are nodding at each other -- are you like that too?

Me: [laughing]....Um... sometimes.

Girl: Oh, you were nodding your head.
       [Turning around to talk to someone she knows] Ohmygosh you look great.  I'm completely off carbs. Like all this week and last week.  But you look fantastic.  I look fat.  Here let me show you a picture of this girl I met the other day.  I think she looks like us.  Except you're prettier than she is.  But she could be us.

Me, to guy: Okay, I gotcha now. 

Guy: See?  I was trying to warn you.