Weirdness in New York

Everyone says that, with over 8,000,000 souls fitting into such a small space, New York has an abundant variety of curious-disturbing-weird-funny-amazing-sad-happy-deranged-loving-hating-thoughtful-arogant-snobbish-helpful folks, and your day is often likely to be seasoned with somebody with an “edge" or someone unusual... someone with a somewhat different perspective on life.  Usually, I find the occasional odd type fun and stimulating, but in the last week or so it seems I’ve been running into a disturbingly high number of somewhat bizarre New York “originals."  I can’t decide if this is the result of a full moon, an attack of angry-irritable mood syndrome, or an invasion of pod people or aliens -- or perhaps a combination of all three -- but whatever, I’m thinking that I don’t really need to meet any more of these odd folks or experiences for a while... Except for the eery-but-wise-looking little girl.  I'm kind of scared of her, but she's alright....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Male teacher of a class auditioning for us at work, to a male student smiling and loving life and being a kid: Why are you smiling?  You're smiling like a GIRL.  You want to smile like a GIRL?  Sit OVER HERE.  STOP SMILING.  

Me: No, it's --

Him: You don't know these kids. This is what he needs.

Involuntarily cringing and making a face at the way the teacher was behaving, wanting to say something but just silenced by him, I caught a very wise-looking student of his sitting quietly cross-legged in front of me, staring at me with her finger up to her lips in a "shh" gesture, slowly shaking her head, "No."  She then turned and fixed her steely gaze on the teacher, narrowing her eyes at him and shooting him daggers with her undivided and very focused silent stare....

I'm pretty sure this girl has the powers of Matilda and is planning to wreak her own revenge on this mean teacher....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the same audition, me, to a different male teacher who had just arrived with his students: Are you here to audition?

Male teacher: We're here for the free bread. Where's the bread?

Me: .... I'm sorry?

Teacher: The bread line. We're here for the bread line.  For the free bread.

Me:....  Are you here to audition?

Teacher: **Looks at me like I'm a sour wrinkled stupid cockroach who he can't believe is just SOOO stupid**: Yes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday as I sat doing a Sudoku puzzle with ear buds in (silent, but no one's supposed to know that, so shhhh) before a dance class I was taking, a guy exclaimed "HIII!!!!!" and waved fervently a few feet from me.  Though I could see him with my peripheral vision, I assumed he was talking to someone else and ignored him.  But he kept standing over my shoulder waving, so I looked up.  He continued to wave.  At me.  I looked at him thinking he looked not the least bit familiar, trying to figure out if I should know him.  I was thoroughly confused, because he was acting like we were besties, but I'd never seen him before in my life.  I was about to ask, "Have we met?" when he said, "I'm Eliot!!" and I again racked my brain trying to think if there was an Eliot I should know (there isn't).  I tried to think of what to say (as he continued to wave at me excitedly while sucking on his strawed soda), expecting him to realize at any moment that he had mistaken me for someone else, and then he asked brightly what class I was there for, I answered, and he said, "OKAY!!!" and took a sip of his soda through the straw and turned around and walked off.