Maybe it was a pigeon alarm

I've been living in a bubble for the last month.  This obviously makes it exceedingly difficult to blog.  I've been doing 12+ hour workdays that are incredibly interesting and fun and about which I am writing, but when there are signs posted every two feet directing everyone not to so much as tell anyone not on the production anything connected with it (and I know they enforce all internet-related gabbing), it makes blogging about what's going on rather difficult.  There's only so much I can generalize of my experiences without mentioning details.  But after a 15-hour workday Friday and sleeping through Saturday and Sunday (I DID, however, make awake-time to devote to the Kitten Bowl), I've had the beginning of this week off to be in the real world for a few days.

Well, "real world" might be subjective.  I started Monday morning with an audition, rolling out of bed and groggily dragging myself out the door, eyes still half glued shut and wrapping myself in my big fleece jacket that allows me to pretend I'm still in my bed's blankets -- because 6am wakeups for auditions are far more painful than 1:30am (yep, you read that right) wakeups for magic movie sets.

Now, I know that waiting rooms are notorious for cattiness and head-games, but this waiting room was a unique experience.  When I entered, there was an alarm going off -- a loud beep every four or five seconds.  I signed in and took a seat and looked around at everyone else sitting down.  They were all in their phones or in their zen moments.  What no one was doing was looking around trying to figure out why there was a frickin' alarm going off in the waiting room.  In fact, it seemed I was the only one who even heard it.  But this made no sense because a hard-of-hearing senior citizen could have heard it all the way down the hall and through a closed door.

Finally, when it was getting to me as much as the water dripping on the spoon handle bugs Donald in this short (Really, watch it.  Because it's Donald Duck.  And Donald Duck is the best), I asked the monitor about it.  "It's not a fire, don't worry about it," she said casually, turning away.  Okay.... that wasn't really my concern.  I mean, I was glad we weren't all going to burn up in an inferno while waiting for an audition because that just seems like a particularly miserable and unfair way to go, but... it was still really really really annoying....  Like REALLY annoying.

But taking a "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" perspective, I decided that if everyone else was just going to pretend they didn't hear an alarm, I guess I would too.  Judging by everyone's faces, maybe this alarm was like the bell in The Polar Express and if you didn't believe in it, you couldn't hear it.  Worth a try, right?

It didn't work.  I still heard the bell.  But I thought it best to pretend I didn't.  Because apparently that was just the thing to do.  Then a woman sat down next to me.  She didn't speak for about two minutes.  Then she inhaled to say something but clearly thought twice about it and didn't.  Then she inhaled again and asked timidly, "Do you... know what that sound is?"

"It's been going off for the last 20 minutes, but everyone's pretending like it's not there, and no one cares enough to do anything about it," I replied with a smile.

"Okay.  Good to know.  Just one more thing to make our morning fun."

Yep.

I wish I could say the audition itself was a lovely experience and made up for it, but people were coming out of the room with incredulous smiles on their faces and "I can't believe that really happened" giggles.

"They're not speaking!" one guy said.  "They don't say hello or 'when you're ready' or thank you or anything.  I just paused for a few seconds afterward and then said thank you and left."

"Yeah, neither one even made eye contact with me," a woman replied as she put on her coat.

"They're listening," the monitor reassured us.  "They're listeners."

When I went in I had the unexpected pleasure of a smile and a hello from one of the two people behind the table, but the other was rustling through headshots when I entered and never stopped.  When I was done I was gifted with a nod from the one who had smiled.  I checked my desire to ask the other one, "Have you seen La La Land?  Because I think you'd like it.  There's a character in one scene you really remind me of."

I hope someone somewhere in the audition world has the nerve (and the lack of need for a job) to say that.

My other audition, a dance call with several hundred girls, was about the same.  A dancer tripped over my foot in the warm-up room and gave me the evil eye even though I hadn't moved in five minutes.  An hour later she tripped over me again even though I still hadn't moved.  She gave me the evil eye again.  I ran into four dancers I know, two of whom I've danced with in shows, and only one of them recognized me.  And then on my way out a pigeon flew into my head.

And tomorrow I get to get up early and do it all over again! 

Gotta love New York City.