...But I like the ica (or "Jamba Juice employees need to stop asking questions")

Today when I treated myself to a Jamba Juice smoothie, the man at the cash register (an American for whom English seemed to be his first language) asked my name for the order.  I responded, "Jessica."  He then asked, "Is Jess ok?"

 

My first thought was that I'd heard incorrectly.  Surely he wasn't saying that typing in "ica" was too time consuming, because he'd just wasted more time than that would have taken to ask the question.  A surprising number of people in New York have misspelled my name (Jesica, Jesika, or Jessika), but the spelling here wouldn't be a concern since they don't even write the names on the cups like Starbucks does.  So I asked him to repeat what he'd asked.

 

I'd heard correctly.  After he repeated his question, I debated answering, "Well if I wanted you to use 'Jess,' that's what I'd have said when you asked my name for the order," or alternately, "No, that's not my nickname, and I actually dislike being called that, but thanks for asking," or even just, "Why?"  But, much like when a Jamba Juice employee asked my 110-lb six-pack self if I was pregnant, I reserved the plethora of possible satisfying responses for the active imagination inside my head (though I'd really love to go back in time to that pregnant question and look down at her belly, gasp, and exclaim, "No, but I can see you are! Congratulations!").

 

So I responded with a dismissive "Sure" and took my receipt, ruminating for the zillionth time on why people don't like saying my full name when no one ever assumes my fiancé goes by "Jon" after he introduces himself as "Jonathan"....  And then I started hearing the names that the woman making the drinks was calling out as she got the orders ready....

 

"Zaquelazita!" she shouted (or something like it -- it probably had a few more syllables and some more Zs and Xs in it).  Then "Ephemeleria!"   "Estenzalar!"  "Ezekial!"  "Kristobar!"  "Xerxes!" "Annalisa-Marie!" "ZxkjskeiudlahdklsjdkklsXooozsheeezanzibar"* ...... "Jess!"

 

...........Oh c'mon... Seriously, dude.  "Ica."  How hard is "ica?"

*Ok, it's possible, that name isn't quite what she said -- but it's not far off, either.